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User blog:Laboratory Tuxedo/ERB WIKI DEATHMATCH 4
LASSE VS STOFF (Setting: Hawkia Gas Station) (Lasse is walking to the drink station, anticipating a Wikislushee) Lasse: Last serving left...looks like it is my lucky day. (He reaches for a cup when suddenly, another hand tries to get the cup) Lasse: Wha? (Lasse sees that the other man is Stoff) Stoff: Lasse? Lasse: Stoff? (Stoff swings his arm back, smacking Lasse in the face) Lasse: AGH! (Lasse spin kicks Stoff into a window) Stoff: OOF! Lasse: It's my Wikislushee! Stoff: NO, IT'S MINE! (Stoff grabs a box of powdered donuts and puffs the powder in Lasse's eyes) Lasse: MY EYES, THEY BURN! (Stoff dropkicks Lasse into a stack of boxes) Stoff: Boom! (Lasse charges swiftly into Stoff, causing him to fly into a ice cream cooler) Lasse: That is how you hurt a person! (Stoff limps out of the cooler and throws a icicle at Lasse's knee) Lasse: AGHH! Stoff: There is how you hurt a person! (Lasse unsheathes a longsword) Lasse: Humph....let's dance. (Stoff reveals a cutlass sword) Stoff: Alright... (Lasse and Stoff charge at each other with swords) Lasse: FAKE OUT! (Lasse ducks Stoff's sword slash and dick punches him) Stoff: OH! (Lasse headbutts Stoff and kicks him into a soda machine, electricuting him) Stoff: AGHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Stoff launches off and rams into Lasse) Lasse: AHHH! (Stoff pulls out his S-Rex claws) Stoff: How I missed these things! (Stoff cuts across Lasse's chest, sending sending Lasse flying across the room) Lasse: WOAHH! (Lasse lands on a lighter rack) Lasse: AGH! Wait.... (Lasse grabs a lighter and a bottle of hairspray conveniently right next to the lighter rack) Lasse: Stoff...you're fired! (rimshot) Lasse ignites the lighter and sprays the hairspray causing a stream of fire to blast across the room) Stoff: PAPER SAVE! (Stoff grabs a piece of paper that gets caught on fire and flies out the door due to high winds) (Lasse runs out of hairspray) Lasse: No more fire.... (Lasse uppercuts Stoff while Stoff does a jumping knee to throat smash) Stoff and Lasse: AGHHH! (Lasse and Stoff fall on the floor, exhausted) Lasse: Oh...God Stoff: Hmmm (The flaming piece of paper flies into a giant gas storage tank) Stoff: Plan....START! (The gas tank explodes which causes a flaming shard of metal to hit a propane tank pile, instantly blowing it up, along with the whole gas station) (The gas station is now a flaming waste) Stoff: Woah... (Stoff rises up from the wreckage, holding Lasse's dead body) Stoff: VICTORY! (Suddenly, a shard of glass falls from the sky and pierces Stoff's skull) NO ONE WINS! COUPE VS BTTF (Setting: A parking lot) (BTTF travels in the DeLorean, driving through the parking lot) BTTF: ...So bored.... (Meanwhile, Coupe is travelling through time with the TARDIS and teleports in a empty parking spot in the same exact lot) (BTTF sees the TARDIS and is reminded that Coupe owes him $20, he then sees Coupe walk out of the TARDIS) BTTF: COUPE, MY $20! Coupe: Oh....crap. (BTTF goes 12 feet in front of the TARDIS) BTTF: SURRENDER OR DIE! (Coupe pulls out the Sonic Screwdriver) Coupe: .....ALLONS-Y! (Coupe fires the Sonic Screwdriver at BTTF's DeLorean, destabilizing it, causing the time circuits to overload and break) BTTF: YOU BASTARD! (Coupe runs up to BTTF and pulls him out of the DeLorean) (Coupe punches BTTF in the face) BTTF: AGGHHH! (BTTF pulls a hoverboard out of his pocket, defying all laws of physics, gravity, science and life) Coupe: What the hell? (BTTF charges towards Coupe and flipkicks the board, flinging it up and smacking Coupe up side the head) BTTF: Sacked you like a bitch! (Coupe dashes to the TARDIS and teleports out of the parking spot) BTTF: DAMNIT! (The TARDIS lands on the DeLorean, crushing it) BTTF: NO, YOU'LL BREAK THE FLUX CAPACITOR! (Coupe comes out of the TARDIS) Coupe: So? (The DeLorean and TARDIS explodes, sending Coupe and BTTF flying in the air) (Coupe and BTTF bring out walkie talkies) Coupe and BTTF: Calling in air fleet! (A giant space robot armada comes out) (A dinky little paper airplane with Coupe written on it flies through the sky) BTTF: What...the...hell? Coupe: I was very high.... (The paper airplane gets sucked up by the main ship's engine) BTTF: Boom.... (The main ship explodes, along with the other ship) Coupe: ...Ya know.... (Coupe pulls out a AK-47 while BTTF pulls out a customized Tommy Gun) (They both fire at each other while freefalling) Coupe: DIE! (Coupe reveals a stick of dynamite and throws it at BTTF, who passes it back to Coupe) Coupe: Oh...crap.... (The stick of dynamite explodes, blasting them to the ground) (The DeLorean is now a wreak with pieces of the TARDIS scattered on the ground) ???: *cough* (A bruised and bloody hand grabs on to the wreaked mass of the DeLorean and TARDIS) (Coupe rises up and walks through the lot, soon finding another TARDIS that because the original TARDIS was destroyed, it brought the TARDIS from the past and used the TARDIS from the present, rebuilt it and sent it to the past timeline) Coupe: Allons-y! COUPE WINS! PATTS VS WACHOW (Setting: ERB Wiki Military Base) (I DON'T KNOW THE SCENARIO, USE YOUR FUCKING IMAGINATION) Wachow: DIE! (Wachow fires his nigga gun at Patts) Patts: .... (Patts dodges the bullets and charge kicks into Wachow's face) Wachow: AGHHH! Patts: .... (Patts roundhouse kicks Wachow in the face) Wachow: AGHH! (Wachow flies up) (Wachow then drops down on Patts's shoulders and jump on his head) Patts: .... (Wachow then jumps in a tank and rides toward Patts) (Patts jumps to a nearby missile and puts in the launch code) Wachow: DIE! (Wachow fires a missile at Patts but Patts grabs it and throws it at a helicopter) (Patts rides the missile into the tank) ALTERNATE ENDING 1 (Patts blows up the tank, sending Wachow flying into a jeep) Wachow: AGH! (Patts grabs Wachow with his tentacles) Patts: ........OBJECTION!!! (Patts jabs his finger into Wachow's eye and tears him apart with his tentacles) ALTERNATE ENDING 2 (Patts doesn't blow up the tank and the blast sends him landing on a red Sudan) (Wachow climbs out of the tank and eats a Slim Jim) Wachow: WACHOW MAN ELBOW DROP!!!! (Wachow elbow drops Patts and his elbow lands on his skull, crushing it) Category:Blog posts